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love you till the day I die by ~softcell72:iconsoftcell72:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Open


I'll love you till the day I die
It's what he always said
through the years of memories
These words danced in her head

I'll love you till the day I die
I swear my love is true
until the day when time runs down
and then I'll start anew

I'll love you till the day I die
I adore you more each day
He spoke these words so sweetly
Her never ending play

I'll love you till the day I die
He swore it would be so
Until the day he came to her and said
please let me go

I'll love her till the day I die
I know it in my heart
and if you truly love me
you'll give me this new start

I'll love you till the day I die
the words played through her mind
despising him so much
for being so unkind

I'll love you till the day I die
she whispered as she bled
Smiling as her life wound down
It had finished as he'd said

I'll love you till the day I die
echoed through the night
He'd died that evening so they said
it was a gruesome sight.
©2005-2009 ~softcell72
:iconsoftcell72:

Author's Comments

I'm not warped I swear.
on a side note, I really hope it isn't showing up in anyone in boxes multiple times. I had to upload and delete three times..I kept chopping part of it off.
lack of sleep...I think

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icon00heartbreakhotel00:
~00HeartBreakHotel00 Jul 28, 2005, 7:28:17 PM
heh I like this. Serves him right. Should've taken the other chic out while you were at it.
:iconsoftcell72:
~softcell72 Jul 28, 2005, 9:00:41 PM
lol, great idea, that never even occured to me.

--
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:icongoshinkipickle:
~GoshinkiPickle Jul 28, 2005, 10:06:37 PM
hmm........a bit too dark for me, but i like anyway. I relaly like the irony of the ending. makes me wonder how he died-of suicide or something else. lol

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:iconindraella:
~IndrAella Jul 29, 2005, 12:21:24 AM
beautiful!!! just simply ... beautiful!!! :+fave:!!!

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:iconzitos:
~zitos Jul 29, 2005, 8:56:02 PM
a great one :clap:
, maybe i'll need some of time to read some of your poetry
lool

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:iconphr3ak000000000:
~phr3ak000000000 Jul 30, 2005, 7:05:57 AM
the repitition in this worked for you well, i am not usuall a fan of repititon but for some reason it flowed beautifully here, wonderful work :heart: :)

Quite chilling, actually after my second read. :clap: nicely done!!

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:iconfelicetti-poetry:
~felicetti-poetry Jul 30, 2005, 3:34:33 PM
very nicely written, the rhyme structure is excellent, and the langauge is beautiful,

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:iconparabolicphoton:
~ParabolicPhoton Jul 31, 2005, 5:46:30 PM
beautiful imagery

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=IsobelMoon Aug 3, 2005, 5:15:26 PM
It remainded me certain words that someone told me... now, he's a living dead

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:iconemilystrange21:
~EmilyStrange21 Aug 4, 2005, 6:21:56 AM
the repitition of "I'll love you till the day I die" works for me.

^^; second stanza, fourth line. shouldn't that be anew?

It sounds like a nursery rhyme (in a good way), such as the itsy bitsy spider, humpty dumpty (or however you spell that). Like the poem illustrates a common folly of life, but life had no sympathy for particular victims.

There's not much to frown upon, therefore I don't have anything to critique. I really like this. The subject matter really hit me. The use of italics and bold font helped to guide the reader; it worked to seperate the two hers, and support a certain impact on the reader at the end of the poem.

In it's entirety, I very much liked this poem. :)

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